We all have things we wish we could go back and redo, things we wish God would not have let happen, things we wish we could have had control over, and things we “should” have done. We all have these thoughts and maybe sometimes it is something we say to ourselves but a lot of times I think we can dwell on it too. I know I do especially when something is not going according to the way I had it planned out in my mind.
Multiple things about these thoughts can tear us away from a true intimate relationship with Jesus. Everything has His hand in it. Yes, sin affects the horrible outcomes in this world but God is sovereign over all and has a plan even if we can’t see it. Through everything He is changing our hearts and wanting us to see the gospel. He is wanting us to learn to lean more on His plan and not on our own plan. Where are our eyes looking? Are they looking at the storm or are they looking at Jesus?
I know sometimes I get mad at God for the bad stuff that has happened, the people I have lost, the prayers that aren’t answered yet, the paths that I went really far down that I regret and wish He wouldn’t have let me go down. And the first thing that is wrong with that is then I am not seeing the total big picture in light of eternity. We have such hope because of Jesus and the eternity we get to spend with Him if we believe in Him. Revelation 21:4 says, “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” Because of each of these things that were not supposed to happen or the something else that should have been, then we are able to testify about God’s grace, love, and glory through these situations to people who we might not have met because of these situations.
Also, I want to say it is not a bad thing to be mad at God. But it should not come from a place of hating Him it should come from a place of loving Him. He wants you to share everything with Him and fixing to lie to Him about how you are feeling or what you are doing won’t work. It won’t help it get better, and it won’t draw you nearer to Him. The thing is though God gives us room to grieve, that is so we run to Him to comfort us, protect us, and give us peace. Peace in this world is sometimes seen as the absence of conflict, when with God it is the calm and assurance amidst the conflict. Grief is important in working through all types of disappointment. We should grieve the loss of people, ideas, dreams, etc. We just need to make sure to let God into our grief.
Another important thing in this is to have community to share with and point you back to Jesus, and to talk more about these hard and difficult things. My discipler and I have been going through Lysa Terkeurst’s book It’s not Supposed to be This Way, and it has helped us to really start these conversations and dig in deeper to these areas of our lives that we often don’t share with others. We then can use this to point each other back to the gospel and the growth in light of these things. Also though these conversations we can show the other person the big picture of how God is working in our lives to bring Himself glory.
The thing I want to end with is this: we all have things we regret, things we are disappointed about,things we are grieving; but don’t run away from God in that pain and hurt, run to Him and trust Him because there is hope in the Gospel and He can make beauty from dust.
Side Note: I highly recommend Lysa Terkheurst’s book. I started highlighting things in the Introduction. With the book we are also going through the Study Guide. It helps to start those deeper conversations by having conversation starting questions. I also recommend sharing your thoughts about it with others because God uses community and bringing things out of the shadows in amazing ways. It is also important to go to the scripture references that are in the book because they can point you back to truth even more.